Well, it has been over a week since I have posted a post and I feel obligated to make some comment on what’s been going on in my world. It’s been a little discombobulated I tell you, kind of like the place where I am. Tennessee: unusually slow-paced and drawn out, yet with splashes of flair, humor, culture and downright freakish ridiculosity. Yes, I made up that word ridiculosity; for there really isn’t a word that typifies the noun form of ridiculous. It is my neologism. Funny thing about that word neologism. The first time I used it around someone who used to work for me, he thought it sounded dirty – like really dirty, fit only for a porno, very unlike something that I would use so freely and candidly, which is to say without smirking or speaking softly lest someone should actually hear me. So, yeah, around him I stopped using that word for made up words.
Anyway, so here are some bits and quotes of the week with background stories or editorial comments thrown in either for context or just for my own amusement or gratification (often one in the same).
Favorite line from a FITREP:
“________ [community] …sends only it’s best to… ____ [command]. CDR ______ is tops!”
-- The officers there are so great they are above proper grammar.
Tank commander
-- Moniker for the dude who verifies only people on the precepts letter sit in on the tank sessions (selection proceedings); basically he is a bouncer with a ripped-off, dorky name
Piggy
-- name of a colleague who snorts, hmmmms, ah-has, taps, and keeps asking for more records to review or more petty bits of administrative labor, causing the rest of us to think he should lay off of the crack. He is a nice enough guy, though, so we shouldn’t poke too much fun – but it is so easy!
Flying Saucer
-- They have 200 beers on tap. To become a member of the UFO club you have to drink at least one of each beer. I was seriously considering taking on the challenge during my 12 days here until I learned of the catch: they will only count three per night. I suppose that is some self-righteous way of discouraging binge drinking. Hmmmmfph. They just lost a lot of business from me. Still, we went back three times over the course of three days (Thurs-Sat), which just goes to show, you can’t keep a thirsty dog from stepping up to the water bowl --or something like that.
$5.68
-- the amount you will pay for 4 beers at Chili’s. That’s right. They are 2 for the price of 1. Once you order one (which is really two), how can you resist the second (the third and the fourth)? The first night we went there, I ordered just the 1 (2), then felt I needed to order the 2nd (3rd/4th) because I feared my company was so lame that I needed a little more alcohol to lively at least myself up to suffer their company. The second time we went there, I only planned on having the 1 (2), but when I was halfway through the 2nd (1st ‘round’) and the waitress asked if I wanted another, my previously lame (though still teetotaling – mango teetotaling, actually) friend said “she’ll have another.” And so I did. And so I did. Shoot, who could beat the price?
Ducks in the hotel
--yeah, so ducks live in the Peabody Hotel. I don’t know if anyone knew this. These fowl inhabitants are apparently the hotel’s claim to fame. They live on the roof and recreate in a fountain in the lobby, taking an elevator down & then up again in the morning and the evening.
House of the Rising Sun
--back in the day Elvis named his horse Rising Sun. He called the stable the House of Rising Sun. This and so much more I learned at Graceland. …wouldn’t you know it that even amid the flurry of 50+ white jumpsuits and a room with a green carpeted ceiling, the pun would leave the most lasting impression on me? "Thank 'ya verry much!"
15 minutes
-- the period of time that it will take anyone to get anywhere or to do anything around these parts. Ask someone how long it will take to get from Millington to Memphis or from Wood Hall to the Commissary and the answer will be 15 minutes. If you have seen them move or do math, then you would know why.
Saturday night follies:
Some of the colorful conversation we superheroes had Saturday night at B.B. King's...
Robin: Did you know that lady was a prostitute?
Batman: Yes. They all are.
Robin: All three of them?
Batman: Seriously, you thought they were actually interested in you?
Robin: No, but--- well, I mean not until she asked me how long I was going to be in town and how far I wanted to go… man, that’s… sheesh.
Batman: It’s all right, brother.
[When referring to the conversation he just had with a girl carrying around a blow up doll wearing a wife beater that read ‘Marry me Sara.’]
Robin: That’s a bachelorette party!
Wonder Woman: Uh, Yeah.
Robin: You knew that?!
Wonder Woman: [feeling a little bad because this so closely resembled the conversation Robin had had with Batman about a half an hour earlier (see above)] Uh, yeah, that’s what goes on… didn’t you know that? You can sign the doll’s leg if you want to.
Robin: No thanks.
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